Kroy Andrew Sauer

Kroy is big brother to my best friend Flynn, little brother to my best friend Brittny, and Executioner of Torment to me in my teens.

In 6^th grade he started a rumor that I stuffed my bra.

On my first day of high school, he picked me up by my brand new Express jeans and stuffed me head first into a trash can.

He nicknamed me ‘Dumbo’ in Spanish class because my ears always stuck through my hair.

I never knew people could actually be stuffed into a locker…until Kroy stuffed me in mine.

He once placed dozens of cigarettes around my desk. I had to stay after school to clean them up because I wouldn’t tell the teacher who did it.

He caught me skinny dipping one summer night and shined every pool light on my scrawny, pre-pubescent body.

The list goes on and on.

 But still, I cannot think of that boy without the corners of my lips curling into a smile. He was completely impossible. And impossible not to love.

 The day he passed away is the #3 Absolute Worst Day of My Life. They day I wrote his obituary is #1.

 I often think about what Kroy would think about me being the one to handle all those details, like his obituary or collecting his personal effects. By no means was I the most important person in Kroy’s life…but we did love so many of the same people- Flynn, Brittny, Nancy, Valerie. It makes me realize how closely we’re all connected. How loving one person means you automatically love the people they love. How you carry people in your heart without even realizing it…and then they’re gone and you feel their absence way more than you ever took the time to feel their presence.

Kroy taught me a lot of things (besides the words to Gimmee that Nutt). He taught me how strong I can be when I have to. He taught me to not take the people in my life for granted. He taught me how to be a better friend.

I think Kroy & I were unlikely friends from the beginning, but somehow, somewhere in the course of our lives, we became just that. Before Kroy passed away I used to imagine Heaven in one particular way: I used to imagine walking up to the gates and seeing my Grandma G waiting for me on the other side. I would be anxious to get through those gates and hug my Grandma again. Now, when I imagine Heaven, it’s mostly the same exact scene, except once I open the gates, a huge bucket of water dumps on my head. I realize in that moment that everyone I love has been waiting for me and Kroy has rigged the whole set-up. Just to torment me for eternity.