The Dirty Thirty

I would pay to be on facebook just for the birthday messages alone. I’m totally feeling the love today y’all. Each and every one of those messages makes me feel so giddy. Thank you, thank you!

 I’m SUCH a birthday person- my birthday, my loved ones’ birthdays, any birthday! I love an excuse to get together with friends or pick out the perfect present or eat cake or all of the above. It’s just so FUN! And I seriously can’t imagine that the excitement I felt on my 5^th birthday at McDonalds has weakened for any birthday since. It might be immature, but that’s just how I roll.

 So, if I’m a big celebrator of birthdays, then Josh is the Scrooge of birthdays. He just doesn’t really get into it. And that’s okay. So, imagine my surprise when I woke up this A.M. to breakfast in bed and this little treat sitting next to the most delish cinnamon toast crunch bagel EVER.

And I’ve been smiling from ear to ear since. I think I practically skipped through Sam’s Club this morning while I loaded up on 2 lb bags of Chex Mix and White Cheddar popcorn for the weekend. I even told the casher it was my 30^th birthday and listened intently as he told me he thought I was 24. I decided, since it’s my birthday, I would believe him whole heartedly.

 Anyway, I think birthdays are so awesome because they serve as a benchmark for your life. With each year that passes you acquire new friends or reconnect with old ones, you experience successes and failures, set new goals and celebrate accomplishments. It’s the perfect time to make a big deal about LIFE and all that comes with it. That being said, I decided I should try to set some new goals for my next 30 years. Here goes:

1. To be the best wife I’m capable of being. This could probably be goals 1-10!

2. To be a mother. Even though I’m not ready to actually have a baby yet, I am already working on being a good mommy one day. I watch other moms and collect little quotes and pieces of wisdom and think really hard about what kind of person I want my child to be raised by.

3. To worry less.

4. To stop comparing myself to others. I’m getting better, but I’m going to master this in my 30’s!!

5. To be a better arguer…one that doesn’t yell and cry in .5 seconds. I want to be calm and listen and act like a RATIONAL HUMAN BEING during a disagreement.

6. To find a job, no scratch that, a career that makes me happy.

7.  To run a marathon.

8.  To be a better Christian.

9. To travel more… for pleasure!

10. To accept I’m a crybaby and always will be, but to work to ensure I smile and laugh just as often. Maybe more!

All growed up!

So I’ve been super obsessed with Taylor Swift’s album for the last few months. Hopefully, my new ATL neighbors are getting used to seeing me belting out her songs in my car. My particular faves are Mean and Long Live. There is just one song on the whole album I don’t really like called Never Grow Up.  Here is a sample of the lyrics:

“Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up

Don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little.

Oh darling, don’t you ever grow up

Don’t you ever grow up, it could stay this simple.

Won’t let nobody hurt you.

Won’t let no one break your heart.

And even though you want to, please try to never grow up”

Maybe this is offending my one-day-away-from-turning-thirty-years-old feelings, but I just don’t like this song. I am kinda digging this whole growing up thing. I’ve been thinking about it a lot as my 30^th birthday approaches. Yes, I guess childhood is simpler, easier, more innocent, but I think there is real beauty in the wisdom that comes with age.  As a child you live life in the moment, you don’t stop to relish, remember, or appreciate. It may be true that with age comes much responsibility and worry, but I think the trade off is worth it.  

 As a child, I’m sure my father took me out for an ice cream every once and awhile. I’m sure I gobbled up that ice cream and made a mess and enjoyed myself, but I'm just guessing because I don't actually recall ever doing this with my dad. A few weeks ago when my parents were visiting, my dad & I went out for ice cream. Just the two of us. (On a side note, my precious husband stayed home and watched reality tv with my mother. Swoon). And yes, while it’s true that as an adult I did count the calories I was ingesting that night, I also soaked up the entire time with my dad. I appreciated it. I was thankful for it. As a grown up, I understand how lucky I am. And I'm smart enough to cherish it.

 So Tay Tay, even though I love you girl, I’m gonna have to disagree with you. I’m glad life isn’t simple any more. I’m thankful I’ve been hurt and had my heart broken and that I’m in the midst of growing up.

 And while I wish words like cable bill, wrinkle cream, and SPANX were not in my vocabulary, I am certainly thankful my life is full of words like family, friendship, faith, and love.  

 I’m a lucky girl indeed. A lucky, grown up girl.

my perfect day

This is how I know I will spend forever with Josh:

We just spent the last five days in Charleston and had a PERFECT trip.

We spent 8 hours a day on the beach

We ate tons of seafood and went out on the town each night

We visited all the sentimental spots from our wedding week, like Crosby’s, our rehearsal dinner location

And The Summerall Chapel, where we said our vows

And The Francis Marion, where we held our reception.

And we didn’t even try to keep our hands off each other. PDA galore!  

On our last night there we listed three things we love most about our marriage and exchanged them with one another. I cried and Josh laughed and I just knew I was the happiest girl in the world at that moment.

Then we came home. It was rainy and there were tornado warnings (like seriously- sirens were going off in our neighborhood!) and there were four heaps of laundry staring at me.

It was my favorite day of the vacation.

Our house was kind of dark and cozy because of the weather. I had a pot of homemade soup on the stove and we spent the entire afternoon on the couch together. I read a really good book and Josh squeezed my leg or hand or whichever body part I had draped over him at the moment and whispered “God, I love my wife” about every five minutes.

 Any day spent with Josh is a perfect day, whether it’s a sun-filled one spent at the prettiest place on earth or a rainy one on our couch. Life with Josh is perfect. Even when it’s not.

Things I've learned in Year Two

After two years of marriage I am certain of one thing- time flies. Like really flies. Josh & I just got home from celebrating our anniversary in Charleston-, where we met, fell in love (actually fell in love, fell out of love, then fell back into love) and got married. We were both giddy over this trip and this time together.

For each anniversary, I make Josh a photo book of our past year together. I started this before we got married, so this weekend I wrapped our fourth book. Fourth. I know one day we’ll be celebrating our fortieth anniversary and two years or four years will feel like a drop in the bucket, but I am proud of what we’ve done together in our short time as husband and wife. I’ve learned so much:

Like how sometimes it is easier to just do the dishes myself because I’m the only one that can do them “right”.

Or, even though it is the hardest thing EVER, sometimes I need to just shut my mouth.

That Josh’s hugs can cure almost anything that ails me.

That I yell when I’m angry and I need to learn to turn the volume down a notch.

I’ve learned Josh bites his nails and it drives me crazy and I’m going to nag him til he stops!

I’ve learned to buy the Half Caff coffee and dump it in his regular coffee container so he doesn’t notice, but now he sleeps better at night.

I’ve also learned to shop and cook for two.

And what kind of aftershave Josh prefers.

And that I love his friends.

And that now, after already knowing how true love feels, I understand true commitment.

I never understood why people called their husbands/wives/significant others their ‘partners’. I never really liked the sound of that. But now I get it. A partner is defined as “a person who takes part in an undertaking with another” and Josh is definitely that. He is part of all my undertakings- from grocery shopping to life decisions to daydreams. He’s as steady as rock, my husband. And I know we have many more years and much to learn together.

I can’t wait!!!