Day 95

Soooo- today was Apology Day. I had practiced what I wanted to say and promised myself I would walk straight into class, pull aside my classmate, and say these simple words “I just want to apologize for my insensitive comment yesterday. I am so sorry I upset you.” And that was it- I wouldn’t explain myself and I would keep it short & sweet. And even if my tears started up, I would look her in the eye and say what I needed to say.

I was nervous.

But guess what!?! I did it! I walked right over to her desk and said exactly what I had practiced. My eyes filled up with tears and I my voice was shaking, but I did it.

 And all she said was “That’s okay” and walked away.

I was hoping for more of a reaction, but I had done what I needed to do. I felt better. And all my tears stayed in my eyes during the whole ordeal!! I’ve stayed quiet in class and I haven’t made any friends, which makes for a lonely week. But it also means I have the opportunity to learn something about myself:

I am the girl who lays all her cards on the table. I can’t keep a secret. I talk too much and I like to be the center of attention. I make jokes and say what is on my mind and feel a strong need to make everyone like me. A week of solitude has helped me realize I do not need to be this person all the time.

It is okay to be quiet.

It is okay to let others have the stage.

It is okay for someone to not like me.

It is okay.