Day 29, 30, & 31

It was cold and dreary all day Saturday, which was appropriate since I was at a funeral for my friend’s brother. The day brought chills and tears, but also warmth as I laughed and cried and hugged many familiar and special friends. Yes, I said LAUGHED and cried. Here is the thing about funerals: the tears that fall as we say our goodbyes are always mixed with laughter. Always. I’ve never been to a funeral without laughing, for these are times of mourning AND celebration. I think love & laughter make for a beautiful send off. 

Sunday & Monday were nothing exciting. I’m afraid this blog is going to become an INSERT THE SHOW THAT MADE ME CRY TODAY HERE blog.
 Sunday- it was the zillionth re-airing of Khloe & Lamar’s wedding. I’m such a sucker.
Monday- it was Bethanny’s trip to Montreal with Jason. Again, SUCKER!

Day 28

Okay, I wasn’t gonna do it. I swear! I had no plans to watch Pregnant in Heels. But on Friday I had the TV on its’ standard channel, Bravo, while doing chores around the house. I was stuck in the kitchen rubbing down a raw chicken when Pregnant in Heels came on. I had no other choice than to watch- there was absolutely nothing I could do about it with my hands stuffed down a chicken neck. And now I’m hooked. I mean you give me a baby bump and I’ll watch all day. Give me a baby bump covered in Gucci and attitude- I’m DONE! Those women are too entertaining. But it was cute little Rosie Pope that caught me totally off guard when, in a very candid moment, she talked about her problems conceiving and experiences with IVF. I think I’ve discussed my sensitivity to anything dealing with a woman’s problem conceiving, so Rosie really got me going. Now I have to add Pregnant in Heels to my very long list of TV obsessions, things Josh hates, and things that make me cry. Sheesh!

Days 26 & 27

I’m on Spring Break right now and had a marathon couch session on Wednesday. I cried at like every show I watched. I mean, I can’t even list them all right now and it wouldn’t be very interesting anyway. It was just one of those days.

Thursday I got in a fight with my husband. About his face. At the horse race over the weekend he got a very bad sunburn on his face. The blistery, oozy, gross kind. I kept suggesting all these things to make it better, but for some reason Josh NEVER wants to take my advice. And I take it personally. I can’t even remember what I suggested, but he said no thanks and I got mad. A little while later (when I had supposedly dropped the whole 'you never listen to me' issue) I asked him an unrelated question, which he answered, just not in a manner that I quite understood (it was a sports questions). So I got really mad and snapped at him. He looked over at me, hurt, and said “Why did you have to yell at me? I would never talk to you like that.” And he’s right, he wouldn’t. I felt so bad. So as soon as I opened my mouth to apologize, I started crying. People say being married is hard. I don’t agree, but being NICE to the person you are married to is sometimes a challenge. Josh has it down pat. I need more practice.

Day 25

In this era of reality shows I have kind of cheated on my original reality series lately- TLC’s A Baby Story. I haven’t watched it in forever. In college it was on alllll the time. I always loved watching it, but on a superficial level. It was pure entertainment for me. The idea of actually becoming a mom and having a baby wasn’t really a consideration. Usually while watching I tried to figure out how in the world a woman could push out a baby in a bathtub while also trying to figure out if I should make an entire box of macaroni and cheese for dinner or an entire box of rice-a-roni for dinner.  Like I said, the idea of actual motherhood was far, far away.

But not now. Yesterday I watched A Baby Story for the first time in forever and I cried and cried. I mean motherhood isn’t imminent for me, but it’s definitely closer. I know WHO I am going to have a baby with now. I have a pretty good idea of WHAT my baby is going to look like (pug nose, round cheeks, dry skin, dark hair). And I (we) have so many hopes and dreams and fears for this little kid. So I sit there and watch these strangers bring a baby into the world and I can’t help but think of my future with Josh- as parents. Right now I am completely obsessed with being married and I am so happy with our life. We’re learning to be husband and wife and I’m glad we have this time together. But one day we’ll make our own baby story and I know it will be beautiful and wonderful and life changing.

 For now, I’m happy sitting on the couch watching someone else’s story. And crying, of course!

Day 24

This should have made me cry:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sl1Cp9PVZM&feature=related

But this is what actually made me cry today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G81_vw3Ktj4

Day 23

Sunday was a bummer for two reasons 1) the weekend was over, wah. And 2) we had to drive six hours home. Hung over. But neither of those things made me cry; it was leaving Josh’s friends that brought on the tears. I’ve discovered all kinds of wonderful surprises about marriage that no one prepared me for. One of those surprises is how much I care for ANYONE who cares for Josh. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “what’s yours is mine.” Josh’s friendships mean so much to him, but they’ve come to mean so much to me as well. This weekend we stayed with Josh’s friend Clem. Josh met Clem the summer before they started the Citadel and they've been close ever since. I love seeing Josh with his Citadel buddies. The way they roughhouse, reminisce, and laugh, it’s sweet. And even though there is NO WAY those boys love Josh more than I do, they have loved him longer. And for that, I hold a special place in my heart for friends like Clem. Time with them is so precious and special that I hate to see it end. I didn’t want to get in that car and head home today. I couldn’t help but cry. I’m just happy I held it together until we were driving away.

Days 20, 21, & 22

Thursday and Friday were pretty standard days- Thursday I cried watching the new show Mobbed. I doubt I’ll actually watch that show again, but this episode included lots of my favorite things- dancing, singing, and a wedding. Friday morning I watched an early morning episode of Giuliana and Bill. Giuliana was crying about her pregnancy challenges (so of course I cried for her) and Bill said something so sweet and comforting to his wife, I want to remember this forever: “In the end it will be okay. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Love it!

Saturday I didn’t really cry. I was too busy having FUN! Josh and I went down to Camden for Carolina Cup and it was a BLAST. We got to see old friends and get dressed up and day drink. So. Much. Fun. Of course, after a full day of drinking and laughing (and some late night dancing) I did get just a tad emotional. Days like Saturday are what life is all about! I just get overwhelmed with happiness sometimes!